i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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