You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
