Don't make out with my wife yet
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
