Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
