you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
