You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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