i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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