im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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