Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
