i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
