Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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