he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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