GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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