I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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