Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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