I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
