Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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