he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
