I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
