Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
