i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
