he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
