i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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