Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
