you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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