If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
