There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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