i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
