I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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