The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
how drunk are you?
Several
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
