Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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