I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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