he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
