I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
