I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize