So drunk its hurt
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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