i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
