so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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