But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
