he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
