idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
