it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
