i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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