Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
