Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
