I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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