What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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