i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
