I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
