I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
