Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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