she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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