I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
