I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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