It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.