I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom