alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize