ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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