They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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