I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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