i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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