If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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