Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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