All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
