i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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